You Are Beautiful
by IntoTheCave
Summary: "He makes me feel like the luckiest soul in the universe. Of all the planets I have lived on, all the hosts I have occupied, I have never wanted another person so badly... I finally found something I would die for." Set after The Host, Wanda starts to worry about her first night with Ian once they are able to move into their own rooms after the rain stops.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so this is my first The Host story. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Host nor do I own any of the characters. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer.**

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It has been two weeks since the rains stopped and we are finally able to move our mattresses back into our rooms. The sleeping arrangements had been modified so that Jared and Melanie have a room to themselves, and Ian and I now share a room together. I do not know exactly how I feel about this new room assignment. I am equally joyful and nervous to spend my nights with Ian, in my new body especially. By searching her memories, I can tell that I am in store for many new experiences, for Pet was very a naïve and young soul.

But these new bodily experiences, such as the shyness and uncontrollable blushing, are the least of my worries tonight. I am afraid of Ian. I am afraid because I do not know what his expectations are for our future as roommates, particularly our first night alone. I do not wish to intrude on his personal space nor do I want him to feel pressured to do anything. But I do not know what I expect from our future as roommates either. This is all very confusing, even without the extra voice in my head.

My mind has been whirring all day, going over every possible outcome of bringing up our new living situation, but I cannot bring myself to confront Ian about my concerns. The shyness shuts down every sense, forcing my thought process to come to a rapid halt. Thus, conversing about my qualms and anxieties becomes ever more difficult. Ian has noticed, of course, that I have been distancing myself from him and that makes me feel even guiltier of a crime I have not, nor do I intend, to commit. Breaking his heart.

So here I sit, in the bathing room, playing out in my head how our conversation will unfold. It has been a little over a year since I arrived on Earth, diving headfirst into the drastic range of human emotions that I have never experienced before, and a little less than a year since I arrived in the caves, being thrown into the perplexing life of rebel humans. Needless to say, I am still unsure of the proper conduct between two people who love each other. I love Ian. My heart quickens as I think about the day he confessed his love for me. I know I love him, but I am afraid of the physical love that goes beyond touching, hugging and the occasional kiss. The only knowledge I have of this further expression of affection is from the memories I rummaged through while in Melanie's body. Still though, I am embarrassed to think about how much I do not know about this world, it makes me feel weak.

I am not sure how much times has elapsed since hiding out here in the bathing room, but reluctantly I decide to seek out help. My bones ache as I stand up from the hunched over position I had taken. Apparently, I have been here longer than I originally assumed. Slowly, I make my way through the tunnels of the cave that I have come to memorize delaying the unwanted discussion about to ensue. I find myself knocking softly on the door to a room that I was mortified to enter.

"Wanda?"

"Melanie?" I spoke softly, staring at my feet. "Can I talk to you?"

I could feel the blush creeping up the back of my neck and then flush over my face. Melanie stepped out of her room and grabbed my shoulders causing me to look up and meet her gaze.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" Her eyes are searching mine trying to find an answer to her question hidden beneath the front I'm putting out.

"I'm fine. Well at least in the way you're thinking. I am wanting some answers to quite personal questions…" I trail off leaving my explanation at that.

"Oh, well what's up?"

"Can we maybe talk in a more… private place?" The blush is returning slowly as Melanie nods and starts walking back the way I had come.

Once we get to the bathing room we sit near the edge of the ground where the roar of the water drowns out our hushed talking. I fumble over my words and try desperately to get to the point that has been buzzing in my head all day. My face is now overheated by the shyness and I can feel some sweat starting to form on my forehead.

"Just spit it out, Wanda!"

"I'm afraid of Ian!" Finally the words are out there but they aren't necessarily the right words. "Well, I'm not afraid OF Ian, I'm just afraid of Ian."

The puzzled look on Melanie's face shows me that I'm just talking in circles here and not making any sense.

"_Oh_…" Her response was almost unspoken. "You're afraid of being alone with him tonight?"

I could only nod, too flustered to vocally admit my weakness in front of her.

"Wanda, I have one question for you." She started, determined. "How does your love for him feel?"

I was caught off guard at the fact that she just switched roles here. I was supposed to be the one asking the questions, not her. But nonetheless I pondered over the question on the table at the moment. How does my love for Ian feel?

"How is it _supposed_ to feel?"

"I can't tell you how your love feels. You, and only you, know how you feel when you kiss him, or touch him. What goes through your mind when you catch him staring at you? Or when you are surrounded by everyone, but feel like it's only you and him in the room when he looks at you." Melanie's determination is easily recognized by her features and facial expressions. Her eyebrows knit together, overshadowing the intense glow to her soul-less eyes.

"It feels… wonderful." I sigh, feeling defeated. "He makes me feel like the luckiest soul in the universe. Of all the planets I have lived on, all the hosts I have occupied, I have never wanted another person so badly. I have never felt such an attachment to someone that I would easily give my life for them. I would do anything to make sure he is happy and safe. He is my partner, for life. I wouldn't want to live another life without him. I finally found something I would die for."

Melanie's face was that of victory as I realized I had answered all of my problems with that simple proclamation. Bursting into hysterics at how ridiculous she probably thinks I am, I lowered my face into my shaking hands. Curse this unneeded anxiety that is producing a weakness I never imagined I would have to deal with.

"Wanda, you love him and he loves you. He would never pressure you to do anything that you are not comfortable with, but you need to talk to him about this. He's worried about you, you know." A sensitive demeanor took the place of her victorious expression she previously wore.

Once again, I pulled myself to my feet and brushed my hands off on my worn jeans. Melanie wrapped her arm around my shoulders and gave me a reassuring squeeze as we walked back towards the rooms. She stopped me in front of her room and looked me in the eyes as I suddenly became aware of the serious tension between us.

"I am right here if you need anything. I mean anything." She was speaking in her loving mother tone, which I only recognize from the memories of her and Jamie when they were on the run. "I will even kick Jared out if you want to stay with me. Only for the night though…"

"Thank you, Mel."

"No problem. And everything is going to be fine. He will understand."

With that I nodded and made my way further down the hall of doors. After a few minutes of shuffling my way down the dusty cave hall, I came face to face with the two real doors that separated mine and Ian's new room with the rest of the caves. I knocked so lightly on the door even I questioned if I actually made contact with the wooden mass. But my efforts paid off when the door was lifted and placed back against the other to reveal those vivid blue eyes I have come to love. I unexpectedly became nauseous as my head started spinning, and my world was swaying from side to side, messing up my balance.

"Wanda?" His voice was husky with restless sleep and worry. "Wanda, are you okay?"

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**Okay! So I hope you liked it. I'm not sure if I want to make this a full on story or if I should just leave it as a oneshot, although I kind of left it on a cliffhanger. **

**Anyway, if you read it then can you please review it? Let me know what you think, if you like it and should continue or not. And please no hate, if you have constructive criticism that would be great but don't just bash on it. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my goodness! Thank you for all the reviews! You guys are so sweet. So I have done like a rough outline of what I could do with this story so I will try to keep it going. I hope you like this new chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Host. All rights going to Stephenie Meyer.**

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"Wanda?" His voice was husky with restless sleep and worry. "Wanda? Are you okay?"

I raised my shaking hand to my forehead, barely managing to shake my head in response since my throat was dry. He motioned for me to come into the room but I couldn't bring myself to take one step. Before I could process what he was doing, I was swept up into Ian's arms effortlessly. When my weight was taken off my weak legs I was able to get my mind off my pounding head, if only for a moment.

Ian gently laid me down on the bed as the moonlight from the ceiling swirled in wild patterns. He kneeled down next to me and placed his hand on my cheek, tucking a blonde curl behind my ear. Unfortunately, the throbbing in my head was not enough to numb the throbbing in my chest. I felt the panic rising as I realized what was happening. I was lying in the bed, our bed, which was big enough for the both of us to sleep comfortably in.

His hand was now brushing across my forehead causing my thoughts to reach for the worst conclusions. I managed to slap his hand away from me and, instantly, regret consumed me when I caught a glimpse of the hurt on Ian's face. He sat back and stared at me with great confusion, trying to understand what just happened.

"Wanda, what's wrong? Please tell me." He tried to sound like my drastic change in attitude didn't bother him but despite what he said about me, he wasn't a good liar either.

I rolled over and tried to steady my head to get a grip on what was happening around me now. Ian is worried and desperately trying to understand what is going on. I, on the other hand, am just praying that I will pass out and forget about this crazy nausea.

"Ugh! Just go away!" I groaned. I'm not sure if I was saying that to Ian or the pain, but Ian thought I was talking to him.

"Wanda, I'm sorry if I crossed a line there but I am not going to leave until you tell me what's wrong." The tone of his voice frightened me. He had never been that direct with me and I was afraid of the turn this conversation was going to take.

Finally, I just sat up, regardless of the pain, and turned back towards him. "I don't want to be with you."

Words cannot describe the look on Ian's face in that moment. It was a mixture of confusion, sadness, and betrayal. All of these emotions contorted his gorgeous features into a mess of unrecognizable pain that I have never seen before. I immediately realized what I just blurted out and tried to figure out how to explain what I meant.

"What are you talking about?" Ian was once again trying to sound like this statement did not affect him. "Just the other day you were excited to move in with me and now you don't want to be with me?"

"That's not what I meant…" I sighed, the throbbing returning in my chest.

"Then what did you mean?! Because it sure as hell sounded like you don't want to be with me." Anger was his defense mechanism to disguise the hurt. "What else could that possibly mean?"

I flinched at his voice increasing in volume with each word he said. "What I mean is I am not ready to _be_ with you."

"Oh." He said trying to sound nonchalant. Then his eyes grew wider as realization dawned on him. "Oh, oh!"

He looked at me incredulously and his expression softened into that of his loving character. The spark returned to his eye while he reached out to grab my small hand in his. He shook his head and I am almost positive that he… laughed? Another chuckle escaped his lips but he covered his mouth to stifle it.

"It's not funny!" I said, hurt that he was laughing at me. Melanie said he would understand. "Quit laughing at me…"

"I'm sorry, Wanda. I'm not—laughing at you." He said in between his gasps for air. "I am laughing at how—you said it. I thought—we—were breaking—up."

I was completely quiet while Ian tried to control his labored breathing. Finally, he was able to catch his breath and looked at me directly, seriousness filling the air. The intensity of his sapphire blue eyes locked my gaze in place and I fell frozen under his speculation.

"Wanda, I would _never_ do anything that you are not comfortable with. I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything for me or with me." His eyes were so apologetic for something he hadn't even done. "The last thing I want is for you to do something you don't want to because you think you have to."

"But you were so excited about sharing a room together. I just thought…" I trailed off when I saw Ian shake his head.

"I love you, Wanda. And because I love you, I can wait until you are ready." He smiled his heartwarming smile that made the molten lava beneath my skin start into motion. "I want you to trust me though, that I will protect you and never ever hurt you. Do you trust me?"

His eyes never broke contact with mine throughout the whole conversation. I couldn't stop the blush from creeping up my neck and washing over my cheeks full force. Ian smiled when I looked down at the ground to hide my embarrassment.

"I love when you do that." His smile stretched into a full grin. His free hand took hold of my chin and brought it up so I was looking straight into his eyes. "Do you trust me to love you, Wanda?"

"Yes." I whispered, "I trust you with my whole soul, Ian."

Gradually, Ian's forehead touched mine, my eyes closed and I felt his soft lips kiss the tip of my nose. I was grateful for his gentleness with me in this moment of uncertainty. He always knows exactly what to do.

"You should get some sleep. We have a long day tomorrow and you still don't look like you feel well." Ian's brow creased in concern for my well-being. "Here, you take the bed. I'll sleep on the floor."

He grabbed a pillow and one of the tattered blankets from the bed and tossed it into a heap on the floor. I could barely see his silhouette turn back towards me in the darkness of the cave. Ian leaned over the bed and pulled another blanket over my small frame. I softly thanked him and he kissed my forehead in return.

Ian quickly made up his bed on the cave floor and settled into his blanket. The stillness in the air returned as I stared at the small light appearing through the ceiling. After settling that matter, the nausea seemed to fade away and I didn't feel nearly as sick as before. I really just wanted sleep right now though because all of the emotions have exhausted me.

"Thank you, Ian." I said almost inaudibly.

I waited patiently for a reply that I wasn't even sure was coming or not. But I waited, because I love him.

"Goodnight, Wanderer."

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**So Ian is such a beautiful sweetheart! I hope I didn't make him too OOC. I try really hard to capture the character traits from the book.**

**So with that... Review! Please & Thank You!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, I wasn't too excited about how many reviews I got on the last chapter compared to the first one but I decided I don't want to keep the loyal readers waiting. So thank you for the reviews and thank you for all who have followed my story or added it to their favorites. I really appreciate it. So here is chapter three. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Host. All rights go to Stephenie Meyer who deserves it!**

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I woke up to a loud noise and immediately stretched my arm out to the side only to pat the cold, empty place next to me in bed. My forehead wrinkled together in the haziness of confusion mixed with being jolted awake. I searched the bed again thinking I might have just missed touching Ian's arm, but the assumption was proven wrong.

My eyes blinked open realizing it was still dark not just inside the caves, but outside as well. As I was about to jump up from the bed and run out into the silent caves, I sensed movement out of the corner of my eye. Ian, all stretched out on a blanket that was scrunched up around his long body, looked rather uncomfortable on the cave floor. I wasn't aware of what time it was, but I frankly did not care, all I knew was the ache my heart was enduring by not having Ian near me.

"Ian?" My voice was barely above a whisper, "Ian, wake up."

I threw my feet over the edge of the bed, letting them dangle there for a few seconds while reconsidering if I should wake Ian from his sleep. He has been working hard moving everyone's beds back into their rooms, so I really should not disrupt it. But then a crash sounded and echoed throughout the caves.

"Ian." This time the name was rushed out and slightly louder. "Ian, please get up."

I hopped off the bed and pattered across the icy cave floor over to Ian's unconscious being. Quickly, I spread out the blanket and curled up into his side and hid my face in his chest. He groaned as I gripped onto him and he stirred a little. My gaze shifted up to Ian's peaceful face just in time to see his eyes flutter open, and I let out the breath that was caught in my throat.

"Mmm, Wanda?"

"Ian, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you…" I stammered over my words, "I just heard—"

The booming sound that had startled me awake rumbled through the caves and I am positive the floors shook. I instinctively flinched and cowered further into Ian's bare chest as his arm wrapped around my waist protectively. He mumbled something into my hair and I could feel his warm breath in my hair as he kissed my golden curls.

"It's just a thunderstorm, Wanda. There is nothing to be afraid of." The smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth was enough to assure me I was safe. "You should get back to bed; we have a long day tomorrow."

I furiously shook my head at his suggestion, not wanting to leave his protective arm. He snorted at my rebellious action, letting a smirk find its way onto his face.

"At least get back into the bed. There is no way you are comfortable on the floor." He started to pull himself up into a sitting position, gently bringing me up with him.

"I'm comfortable with you. I woke up and you weren't there and…" I let my explanation wander off without finishing the thought.

Ian lifted me into his arms and lightly set me back down onto the mattress of our bed. Before he could turn back away, I grabbed his hand to stop him from leaving me. He looked at me and must have gotten my telepathic plea for him to stay because he lowered himself next to my face. His warm breath enveloped my face as he sighed in defeat.

"Wanda."

That statement was neither disappointed nor burdened by my desperate attempt to have Ian close to me. His warm palm rested on my cheek, warming up my face with the help of the uninvited blush. Lovingly, his thumb brushed back and forth in a soothing motion, trying to distract me into resting. It worked.

"Goodnight, Wanderer." His words repeated for the second time tonight.

"Ian?" I didn't even know I had said his name until I realized he was staring at me waiting for me to speak again.

"Yes, Wanda?"

"Please stay with me. I am not very fond of this sleeping apart situation."

He laughed quietly, "Wanda, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Ian, please. I can't sleep without you."

The expression in his eyes was a look of uncertainty, but it was quickly resolved when he realized I was not going to give up. His head fell; he smiled again, this time more to himself, and walked over to the other side of the bed. Picking up the pillow and throwing it down onto his side of the bed, he flopped down next to me. I instantly pulled myself over to his warm self and curled into him again. The thunder rolled again throughout the cave and I shuddered a little when the echo was the only sound left. Ian's arm automatically tightened around me and pulled me closer, if that was possible.

"I love you, Wanda."

"I love you too, Ian."

"Okay ya'll, today we return to our chores out in the field." Jeb's voice reverberated off the cave walls. "Everyone'll return to work immediately after breakfast. I don't want no one stopping to get ready either."

The normal buzz of chatter resumed as people talked about how they did not want to go to work, except Jared.

"So, we have to get medicine, food and more clothing. Jamie has already grown out of his pants and it's only been 4 months." Jared scoffed in amazement at the child's sporadic growth spurts.

"He's a growing boy, Jared, it's going to happen." Melanie stated.

"He just grows _so_ much at one time. It's hard to keep up." Jared's laughter filled the air around us. He laughs a lot more now that he has Melanie back; his family is complete once again.

"So just buy multiple sizes for him, simple as that." Melanie waved her hand dismissing the idea as if it was already thought of, while she stuck a forkful of eggs in her mouth.

All of the boys looked at each other with their mouths open slightly, looking completely dumbfounded.

"What? You can't tell me you haven't thought about that." Melanie's eyes narrowed in disbelief. "You're kidding me right? You guys sure can be idiots sometimes."

"Melanie!" I chimed in coming to the boys' defense.

"Anyway, back to the point, we have to go out soon, we are running low on everything." Jared got us back on subject and continued on planning the next raid with Ian and Kyle.

They continued on this way until Jeb ushered everyone out of the dining hall and on to their chores. Ever since I was put into Pet's body I have been working in the kitchen. I don't necessarily despise it, I just wish I could do more to help out but my body's limitations hold me back. So after saying goodbye to Ian with a short kiss, I retreated back to kitchen to help clean the dishes.

Once all of the dishes were cleaned we moved on to baking the bread we would eat for lunch and dinner. While waiting for the tray of bread in the stove to be done, I turned to help get another tray ready when I heard a harsh scream behind me and something crash to the floor. I swiftly turned back around to the scene playing out in front of the stone. All I saw was red.

My eyes immediately went to the red tray lying on the floor with the fresh bread scattered everywhere. Slowly, my stare moved up to land on red hands that were shaking violently, as if trying to shake off the pain. Next was a red face heated by pain and fury with eyes staring straight at me. And finally, a frizzy bundle of curly red hair.

"Look what you did, you filthy parasite!"

I was too stunned at what happened to fully register her words, but I knew they were hurtful. Anything out of Sharon's mouth was usually hateful towards me. She and Maggie were the only two who never really got over their prejudices about me.

"I'm so sorry. What happened?" I spoke timidly, trying to ease her anger in any way I could.

"Well you could have stopped me from grabbing the tray you put in there a long time ago!"

I'm not sure how long Melanie had been standing there or how much she had witnessed but she immediately ran into the kitchen and stood protectively in front of me. Blocking me from any further expression of Sharon's rage. The glare evident on her face was enough to make me shrink away trying to be as small as possible.

I did not like when people became angry, especially if it was caused by me, because I have only ever known peace. Granted, I have been living in these caves for a little over half a year now and know that anger is an everyday occurrence with humans, but it still frightens me. Humans act irrationally when they are angry, you can never predict what they will do in that moment.

"Hey now, Sharon! It was _not_ Wanda's fault that you burned yourself." Melanie's voice reminded me of Jeb's when he is giving someone his "My house, my rules," speech. "Maybe next time you should pay attention to what you're doing and not blame everything that goes wrong on Wanda just because you don't like her."

Sharon could not respond with words, she rolled her eyes, snorted and turned back to Maggie who was waiting with a wet towel. Melanie faced me and put her hands on my shoulders, weighing them down more.

"Are you okay?" The concern in her eyes was evidence of her motherly instincts showing themselves.

"I'm fine. Thank you for that."

"Why don't you take a break. Go take a walk and get away from here for a little while."

I smiled at her kindness while she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the now crowded kitchen. She went to snatch a snack for her and Jared before running off to the fields where he was waiting for her. I decided to walk down to visit Doc and see how he was doing since I have not spoken to him in a while.

Doc wasn't in the infirmary at the moment so I thought I could take a quick nap and started back towards mine and Ian's room. On my way around a dark corner, I slammed into what felt like a brick wall and stumbled backwards. Right before I could fall the brick wall extended its arms out to steady me and I instantly recognized their support.

"Ian?" I asked, "What are you doing down here?"

"I could ask you the same thing." I heard him laugh, "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"I'm fine, I was told to take a break after a little episode in the kitchen with Sharon."

"What did she do? Did she hurt you?" His overprotectiveness always clouded his judgment and forced him to jump to the worst conclusions.

"I'm fine, Ian." I repeated, "She burned herself while making bread and got mad at me, saying it was my fault."

Ian's grip around my waist tightened and I swear I heard a low growl in his throat. I squeezed his upper arm reassuringly and rested my head on his chest, savoring our moment alone.

"You never answered my question." My small voice was muffled by his chest.

A sigh exited his mouth, I could feel his breath blow over the curls on the top of my head.

"Melanie told me what happened. I just wanted to see if you would lie about what happened to save Sharon's hide like you did with Kyle." Once again his hold constricted around me as we both remembered that horrifying incident.

"Oh, well now you know I'm okay, so you should probably get back to the fields." I didn't want him to leave but I knew Jeb would be mad if Ian was gone for too long.

"Let me walk you back." Ian's warm hand intertwined with mine and we walked back towards the kitchen.

The trip was silent but neither of us minded the quiet. I was just happy to be here with him and I could sense that he felt the same way. Once the kitchen came into view, Ian stopped me and pulled me back into his chest. His scent consumed my every thought and I prayed that this moment would never end. I felt the pressure of his lips on the crown of my head push down the curls and he slowly pulled away. I smiled at him in return and watched him walk down into the tunnel leading to the fields before I turned back to finish my chores for the day.

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**Well, there you go! Just a little fluff and drama to spice up the story a bit. I hope you liked it, especially enough to review it and tell me what you think! I just absolutely love Melanie and Wanda's relationship as sisters and Ian and Wanda's relationship because they are just TOO cute!**

**So go ahead and review your little hearts out!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I AM SO SORRY! I am extremely apologetic that I have not updated in a while. But a family emergency came up and I spent my week dealing with that and was not able to write this chapter. Fortunately, I was able to spend the last two days writing this chapter for you. I tried not to rush through it and it ended up being a fairly long chapter. I hope it makes up for my absence. Thank you for sticking with me. **

**Spartan DJB: I was not able to reply to you so I just want to tell you here, if you are reading this. Thank you for reminding me about the Ian's door. I am currently rereading The Host and discovered that I was wrong about the door and meant to fix it but completely spaced. So thank you for pointing that out and I have made the correction.**

**EVERYONE: Thank you so much for all the love and reviews you have written. It makes my heart swell with joy to know that you are all enjoying the story. So thank you for all that you do, reading, reviewing, following and loving. I really appreciate it all! Now I am going to stop so you can read the chapter.**

**DISCLAIMER: Sorry, one more thing. I do not own The Host or any of the characters you are about to read about. It all belongs to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.**

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"Wanda."

I would recognize that voice even if it was the first thing I heard when waking up in a new host. That voice, that's husky when he just wakes up and then deep and rich once he's had his breakfast, is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard in all of my lives. When I first came to this planet I thought the auditory sense was overwhelming since I had never previously had all these senses working at once. But now it is one of my favorite aspects of being on this world.

"Yes?" I turn to face the love of my life, sitting on the counter with dirt swiped all across his face. "Been working hard?"

His smile spread wide when my silver eyes connected with his ice blue ones. For a moment I was completely lost to myself while I stared at Ian. Even with all the sweat and dirt that had accumulated throughout his work day, he was still the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed.

"Yeah, it was hot out today." He finally spoke up, "I'm hungry now. How was your afternoon?"

"Fine." My answer was flat but for no reason at all, just simple.

"What you got cooking for dinner?"

"Just the usual soup and bread. We need to go out soon and get more food, we're running low."

"I know. Jared's been planning it all day in the fields. It looks like they're going to be leaving tomorrow night." Ian's eyes flitted around the room, nervously avoiding my gaze, throughout his answer.

"They?" I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Yes, they." He sighed, defeated, "Wanda, you're not going out this time."

"And why not?" My brow now furrowed and I glared at him, dancing along the line of questionably and accusingly.

"Wanda, for once, I just want you to be here. Safe. Instead of out there where all I do is worry about you." Distress, that's what my mind registered his tone to be.

At any other moment, in any other discussion, I would find his concern comforting. But that thought was overshadowed by the fact that he was telling me I couldn't go on raids. Going on raids was the only way I felt useful now. Ever since I was put into this new, smaller host, I have not been able to perform the chores and duties I was once able to do with ease. I had been put on dish duty because I could not lift anything heavy or do the work in the field without growing weary quickly.

"Ian, I understand your concern for my safety but I have to go on the raid with them. They need me."

"Jared can get everything we need. He has done it before many times and nobody has ever gotten hurt, besides Jamie that one time." The last part was barely above a whisper as we both remembered that tragedy we barely avoided.

"But I want them to need me." I mumbled to myself, I was shocked that something so selfish had come out of my mouth.

Ian was quick to see my lips moving and asked me what I said when he didn't hear me.

"I do not want to repeat it. It was selfish." My gaze dropped to the floor responsively in embarrassment.

"Wanda, you're human. Humans are selfish. Please tell me what you said."

"I want them to need me." The words were so bittersweet on my lips. I was never one to do anything for myself.

"What do you mean?" Ian was perplexed by my confession.

I sighed, not wanting to have to explain my miniscule problems and worry Ian further. "Nothing."

"No, it is some –" Ian was interrupted by Jared slapping him on the back and jabbering on about something that happened in the fields after he left. I turned back to my work and tried to block out their conversation.

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After dinner I went into the kitchen to wash the dishes as Ian stayed at the table with Jared and a worried looking Melanie. _They must be talking about the raid,_ I thought to myself with a small frown tugging at the corners of my mouth. I have to find some way to convince Ian to let me go with them. I do not want to stay here while they are out risking their lives.

Once all the dishes were done I walked over to their table where they were finishing up their deliberation but instantly all stopped talking when I joined the group. Their eyes were cold and hard, very uncomfortable, as they watched me with intense scrutiny. _They were definitely talking about the raid._

"Well, Wanda and I are exhausted so we will see you in the morning." Ian broke the silence with his goodbye and his big hand enveloped my small one, instantly warming up my cold fingers.

I nodded my head as my 'goodnight' to Melanie and Jared and followed quickly behind Ian, tucking myself into his side. We walked slower than usual just enjoying our walk and each other's silent company. I squeezed his hand playfully and his face dipped down to smile at me lovingly. Then in a swift movement, his lips connected to my forehead with a soft kiss. I couldn't help the blush that flooded my cheeks and I was grateful that the limited moonlight that shone through the caves made it hard for Ian to see me.

"I know you're blushing." The smirk was clearly evident in Ian's voice as he laughed a little.

In reply, I buried my face further into his side trying to melt into him so I could escape the embarrassment. He just wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me tighter into him. We walked like this for a few steps and then I slowly resurfaced from my hiding place. His arm still around me, we finally made it to our room and I flopped down onto our bed. I could have fallen asleep right then and there but Ian would not allow that.

He jumped onto the bed, landing right next to my head, making my body bounce a couple times on the bed. I turned over and looked up at his shadowy figure and groaned in tiredness.

"What? You can't tell me you're tired." Once again I could picture the smirk on his face.

"You can't tell me that you're _not_ tired."

"I am but I want to talk to you." I suddenly heard the worried tone return to his voice. I sat up immediately looking into his blue eyes that were dimly lit by the moonlight.

"About what?"

"About earlier, when we were talking about the raid. You got really upset and mumbled something that bothered you. I want to know what you said." He rushed through the sentence and then waited patiently for me to answer.

"Ian, it was nothing…" My hesitation prompted him to cover the side of my face with his palm.

"It was something. Please, Wanda, you can tell me anything. You know that." Now he was pleading for me to divulge one of my deepest secrets to him. A secret I am not proud to admit to myself even.

But his pleading, and sad blue eyes were the victors in this moment and my previous defenses caved in.

"I want to go on the raid." I said blatantly, "I want them to need me."

"I don't understand. You are needed here, in the caves."

"Not as much as I want to be." The shame and embarrassment of admitting my selfish desire weighed me down into a heap on the bed. "Ever since I was put in this host, I have not been able to do as much as I could with Melanie's body. I do not mean to sound unappreciative about having a host, because I am so grateful that I am still here with you. But I just wish I wasn't so small and weak."

"Wanda…" He started with sadness.

"I wish I could be out in the fields with you and Melanie and Jamie. I want to be able to do the jobs I had done before this new body. Now I do the dishes. All I do is clean the plates you eat off of. That is of little importance to the caves and I feel so useless." I did not intend to reveal all of these feelings to anyone, let alone Ian, the one who would worry over a split end in my curly blonde hair.

But at the moment, he was silent. I could not see his face due to the fact that I curled in on myself mid-confessional. There was a suffocating stillness in the air; I had to listen intently to know if he was still breathing.

"Wanda, oh my Wanderer, you are so extremely useful to everyone in the caves. Not only in the physical manner but in our emotional and mental states. We understand the Souls so much better now that you are here to teach us about them. A lot of people have come to love you, something none of us would have ever though was possible, and that has opened a lot of hearts and minds. Wanda, you are the purest soul I have ever met in my entire life and I would not want to imagine our lives, my life, without you." He spoke evenly and every syllable was emphasized to express the importance of his feelings. "I love you and you are of more importance to me than you will ever know and believe."

The warm trail of the runaway tears that silently slid down my face did not go unnoticed in the darkness. Ian's warm fingers brushed the wetness away, keeping his hands holding both sides of my face. His lips came crashing down on mine in the most fragile way I've ever experienced. I allowed him to fervently kiss me and let myself dissolve into his taste, his scent, him.

"I love you, Ian."

* * *

"Wanda. Wanda, wake up." I stirred and groaned as the whispered demand broke through the wall of sleep, "Wanda, get up. I need to talk to you."

I finally opened my eyes and squinted into the darkness at the figure leaning over me. I sat up slowly and watched as the mass leaned back too. Finally my eyes adjusted to the blackness and I recognized who was standing before me.

"Melanie?" I asked confused, "What are you doing here? What time is it?"

"It's like midnight. Can I talk to you outside?" Her voice was rushed but urgent, my gut registered that something was wrong before my mind completely woke up. She pulled me out of bed and into the hallway but continued to walk until we were far enough away from the last room of the hallway.

"Mel, what's wrong?" My eyes frantically searched hers for some hint that I was overreacting, but all I found was a wild fear in her gaze.

"Wanda, I'm late."

* * *

**DUN! DUN! DUN! Well, I don't know what to say after my rant-like apology. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it made up for my failure as an updater. I hope you can forgive me. And please review if you have time. Thank you for taking the time to read my story! (:**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, so I just want to thank everyone who has been faithfully reviewing and reading this story. It means so much to me! So thank you!**

**I also want to say that part of the idea I have for this story is loosely based on a friend of mine and her story so I'm not trying to copy anybody's previous ideas. I'm sorry if my story resembles another idea, but I assure you this is completely my own idea.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Host or any of it's characters. All of that belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

The befuddlement must have been as evident as I thought it was on my face because Melanie's brow furrowed to mimic mine. The air was suddenly extremely brittle as we had a mutual stare down, neither one of us wanting to shatter the silence. But I could not hold the stare anymore with my curiosity taking control of my thoughts.

"I do not understand…" I finally mumbled out.

"Wanda. I'm late." Melanie restated matter-of-factly but then realized what I meant. "_Oh…_"

The sigh that escaped her mouth sounded almost as if she was disappointed, in me. I immediately looked to my feet in embarrassment and muttered my apology for not knowing what I assume is common knowledge. I felt her hands brace my shoulders and lightly shake me to get me to look up at her again.

"No, it's fine. I forget that you're still not accustomed to the phrases we use. Remember when you were first put in me and I told you about the monthly 'gift'?"

I skimmed through my memories, trying to pinpoint what she was referring to and then it hit me. Of course I remember the monthly 'gift' as she called it, how could I forget? I only nodded my head in response to which Melanie continued.

"Well, every month when it comes, usually on schedule, it is your body's way of telling you that you are not pregnant. When I said I was late, that means I have not received that reassurance yet and it is way past the scheduled time."

It took me a few moments to allow what she was saying to sink in and be processed but once it was I was baffled. I am not sure how long my mouth had been open in shock but I still could not bring myself to close it. If what I was thinking was right then that means…

"So, you… are…" I couldn't get the words out any faster.

"Pregnant." Melanie confirmed my train of thought before I could even utter it out. "Wanda, I'm pregnant."

The fear replaced her motherly tone once she remembered why this conversation was happening. Her eyes started to water and I thought I saw her hands shaking in the darkness, but it wasn't cold. I have never seen Melanie like this before, even when we shared a body she was always the calm and collected one. This was serious.

"Mel—"

"I can't be pregnant. I can't bring a child into this world. Jared doesn't want kids, not while we live like this anyway. Oh he's going to hate me when I tell him." This was so unlike her. She was spewing out these worries as if they were water being pumped from a well. "But this is partly his fault too. He can't be mad at me when it's his responsibility also."

My hands clamped down onto her shoulders with more force than I intended but it brought forth the reaction I wanted. Melanie had stopped talking and was staring at me expectantly. I didn't know what to say in this moment though so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"_Breathe._"

She was still staring at me until she finally realized I meant what I said and inhaled deeply. Once she released the breath I took a deep breath also. My hands still pushing down on her shoulders, I tried to get a grip on the thoughts running rampant in my mind.

"Mel, everything is going to be okay." _Really? That's all I could say?_

Another silent moment as she continued to focus on her breathing.

"You can do this. I mean, Freedom was born in the caves. Plus, you are not alone. You have me, Jared, Jamie and even Ian. We will help you through this." _Much better._

"Wanda, what am I going to do? How do I tell Jared?" It seemed my efforts to calm her fears were not reaching her.

"Just tell him the truth. He loves you, Mel, and he will love your child. You can do this."

I don't think I completely convinced her but I think I did enough to ease the panic at least until the morning. She visibly relaxed either from defeat or exhaustion. I rubbed her upper arms and pulled her into a hug and I could tell she was trying to hold back tears.

"We can talk about this more tomorrow if you want to." I offered.

I felt her nod into my shoulder and started to retract from the hug. I grabbed her hand and guided her back to her room. Once I knew she was okay for the rest of the night I walked back to my room. I struggled with the door, seeing as it was twice my size, and accidentally scraped the corner of it on the cave floor. I prayed that the sound was not as loud as I thought it was and continued to try to put the door back in place.

"Wanda, where are you going?" His sleep muddled voice made me jump in surprise.

I hurried over to the bed and climbed back in to his waiting arms. "Nowhere, I'm going nowhere, Ian."

He either didn't care or was still half asleep and didn't realize he was talking to me. Either way, he nuzzled his face into the back of my neck and wrapped his arm protectively around my tiny waist. I was used to falling asleep this way, and with that tiresome interruption it was easy to fall back to sleep.

* * *

I was startled awake by somebody shaking me frantically and repeating my name over and over again. I quickly snapped my eyes open to see a pair of sapphire blue ones staring back at me worriedly. It took me a second to fully come to my senses and the first thing I noticed was that it was barely light out.

"Ian, what's wrong?"

"You were crying." He said, "Were you having a bad dream?"

I was hit by every moment of the dream I was having like a freight train and the tears cascaded down my cheeks again. Ian's face twisted with concern and pulled me onto his lap in a tight embrace and began rocking back and forth. He whispered in my ear but I couldn't understand it due to my sobbing. Eventually, I had cried out every tear I had and my tears came to a stop.

"Do you want to talk about it?" His voice was so gentle in my ear.

I wasn't sure if I should divulge Melanie's issues to Ian, especially before she talked to Jared about it. "I can't tell you…"

That confession instantly had Ian's hands on my face, covering my wet cheeks with his rough palms. "You can tell me anything. I don't want you to be afraid or embarrassed to talk to me if something is bothering you." He said sternly.

"No, it's not that. I can't tell you, at least not right now."

"Was it that bad of a dream?" Concern, again.

"No, it's not the dream I'm talking about."

Now it was his turn to be confused about what's going on.

"Well then will you tell me about your dream?" He hesitated asking this question.

I sighed deeply at the subject of my dream and felt the sadness press on my heart. A sadness that I have not felt since coming to the caves, mostly because I have not had time to think about it.

"_Please?_"

I caved in to his concern, "Before I came to the caves I was informed that I was lined up for Motherhood." I noticed the slight confusion in his eyes and explained further. "Motherhood is the soul's equivalent to procreation. The only difference is the mother, me, does not… exist afterwards."

"Wait, what?" He shook his head, trying to understand what he was being told.

"You see, my soul is split into millions of little souls, to put it in the simplest terms. So there are millions of little souls each with a piece of me, my memories and my knowledge. But I am no longer… there."

"So you were dreaming about… leaving?" The pain was evident in this question that was delivered through clenched teeth.

"No, Ian, I do not wish to leave. I was just dreaming about what it would be like to be a mother."

"And disappear forever?" He was trying hard not to shout but the anger slipped through.

"Not a soul mother." I said firmly, "A human mother…"

* * *

**Oh my goodness! Wanda wants to be a mother! Melanie isn't so sure if she's ready to be one!**

**I hope you liked it. Read, review, like, love, share. DO IT ALL! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**I AM SO SORRY! I know I usually update within a week but it's been a little more than that. I'm sorry it has taken a while but here is the highly anticipated Chapter Six! Okay, it wasn't that highly anticipated, whatever!**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews. I love seeing so many people are enjoying this story. I hope you like this next chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Host or any of the characters in this story. Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

* * *

"Wanda, are you sure about this?"

He tried desperately to hide the doubt in his voice but did so unsuccessfully. Suddenly, I became unsure of my answer to this question. If Ian doubted what I just said then maybe being a human mother is not a good idea. Did Ian think I would not be a good mother?

The embarrassment of thinking I could be a mother to a human child flushed my cheeks and caused my vision to become blurry. I hid my face behind my hair to shield the tears that tracked down my face from Ian's view. This movement did not go unnoticed by him and he immediately reached for my chin. Forcing me to face him, I adverted my gaze as to not see his expression. I could already guess what it would be; perplexing sadness and unnecessary guilt would be apparent.

"Love, I didn't mean to upset you." Forget reading his expressions, I could hear those emotions in his voice. "I'm just wanting to make sure this is what you want and not what you think I am wanting. This kind of decision will be affecting you the most, you must be thinking of yourself before you decide to have kids."

I was now choking back my sobs, preventing me from answering his explanation. I'm not sure I would even be able to answer him since I don't know what to be thinking right now. Yes, I want children, especially with Ian, but do I want them to be raised in the caves? In a world that is immersed in a war beyond their imagination?

"Wanderer…" His rough thumbs were gliding smoothly across my cheeks, wiping away the tears that were inevitably replaced by more. "Please, don't cry. This isn't a matter that needs to be decided right now. We have time."

_Oh, when are these boys going to learn, we don't know how much time we have._

The only response I had was to sob aloud and tug my chin away from his grasp. He instinctively pulled me into him and I curled in on myself with his arms wrapping around me.

* * *

I woke up to the orange color of the sunset dotting the room through the holes in the ceiling, very disoriented. Did I fall asleep after my conversation with Ian? How long was I asleep? Where was Ian at? Well I wasn't going to get any of those questions answered by just sitting here. Pushing the remnants of my earlier conversation with Ian out of my head, I jumped out of bed and headed for the kitchen. I am hungry after all.

Everyone was gathered around a table talking wildly yet quietly when I walked into the room. I couldn't see what they were all looking at but by the tone of everyone's chatter, I assume it is something important. _Maybe they are planning a raid._

I was still standing at the entrance awkwardly as I was thinking about what we are going to need to get for the raid. I didn't realize everyone had stopped talking and were now looking intently at me. I blushed at the holes I could feel burning into my skin from their stares and nervously walked toward the group. Ian was the first to greet me, but it wasn't his normal peck on the cheek. He gripped my arms and started pushing me back toward the doorway while everyone continued to stare.

"Ian, what's wrong?" I asked while trying not to stumble at his force.

"Nothing, Wanda. Let's go back to the room." There was an unusual edge to his voice. The tone that normally comes out when he goes into his protective mode.

"No." The stubbornness that escaped my mouth before I had the chance to think about it stopped him in his tracks. "Tell me what's wrong." I tried desperately to keep the stubborn aspect of my voice.

Ian stared at me with hard eyes trying to decide if he should speak or not, but then he dropped his head down in defeat. "They're going on a raid and I told them I don't want you to go."

I was caught off guard by that statement. "Wha—Why not?" I fumbled over my words.

"It is going to be dangerous. Very dangerous. Not like the usual raids we've been doing."

"What's so dangerous about this one?"

"They want to take a Seeker."

"What?!" My shout was undoubtedly heard by everyone in the kitchen. "Why would they want to do that? Are they asking for the caves to be found?"

"They think that if they get a Seeker then he can tell us who is in charge of all of this and then we can figure out how to get the Souls to leave."

It was like I was punched in the stomach, the pain knocked the wind out of me.

"No, Wanda, not you. You and Sunny will stay here with us. We are just trying to find ways to end this war." He spoke quickly as if he would not be able to explain everything quick enough.

Unexpectedly, I twisted out of his grasp and ran back into the room where everyone was still gathered around the table. I could hear Ian following me, wanting to pull me back into the hallway but I spoke before he could get to me.

"Do you not trust me?"

Everyone turned to look towards the place where my tiny voice echoed off the walls.

"I have given you a way to fight back, yet you do not think it is good enough?"

Their eyes were all cast down in silence and I could feel the shame emanating from their huddle. Ian was frozen behind me and I could tell he felt the shame too. Only Jared was brave enough to break the silence. "But there has to be another way. Taking Souls out one by one is too time consuming."

"And you think that by risking your life to get a Seeker, you will magically find an answer to this war? Souls are created to die for that secret. I was told that I should die before explaining how a Soul is extracted. But I trusted and loved all of you more than myself and I gave you the only way to fight back." Tears were sliding down my cheek from the betrayal I felt. "I gave it to you, asking for nothing in return. And now you don't believe me when I say that this is the only way to win?"

I turned away from them, right into a face to face with Ian, and called over my shoulder, "There is no _leader_ in all of this. Nobody is in charge of the Souls. We live peacefully and equally together."

With that I walked out of the kitchen, leaving them to reevaluate their choice, and headed straight to the only place I knew I would not be interrupted.

Once I reached the storage hole, I sat against the wall right outside of the prison cell I was once held in. Pulling my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and cried soundlessly into my jeans. I shouldn't be mad at them, they are only trying to find ways to survive, but at the same time I am hurt that they did not believe me. I just let every event of today pour out onto my jeans and allowed myself to grieve without thinking about trying to find answers.

I'm not sure how long I had been down here before I heard the familiar footfall echo down the tunnel. Ian did not continue to turn the corner leading straight to me, instead he stopped and I could hear him slide down the wall at the corner. He never said anything, much like the first time, he just sat with me in silence while I mourned.

Eventually, the crying stopped completely and the only sound was of me gasping to breathe normally again. That was when Ian stepped in.

"Wanda, love, are you okay?" His voice was drowning in worry as his head peeked around the corner.

I sustained my silence and he just sighed heavily, turning back around. I wiped at my eyes and tried to stop myself from trembling. I didn't know I was so cold right now.

"I'm sorry." His small voice came back.

I gave up my silence and sighed, "Ian, it is not your fault. You were trying to protect me, I know. I am just saddened by the fact that everyone doubted me."

"Nobody doubted you, Wanda." Now he stood up and turned the corner, rushing to comfort me. "We are just trying to win this war before we all die."

I cringed at his casual use of such a horrible idea. He saw me cringe and stationed himself across from me against the wall.

"As humans, we don't give up. And we are not patient either. We don't like having to wait for answers because we want it done right then and there. It is our nature to search for the fastest solution even if we have an answer given to us."

I understand their urgency to get all of the humans back but they have to realize it is not that easy. "You have to understand though, it took years for the invasion to be fully completed. It will take years for every Soul to be sent off and every human to be brought back."

"I guess we didn't think about that." He mumbled under his breath, "We don't understand how this all works and I doubt we ever will."

I stood up quietly, walked over to him and slid down on his side. He just looked at me, asking if it was okay to touch me and I answered by pulling myself into his side and crying for the third time today. He scooped me up in his arms easily and started walking back the way we came. Once we made it to our room he laid me down on the bed and fell down beside me.

"I love you, Wanderer." His fingers trailed down my cheek and into my curls while he stared at me from the side.

"I love you too, Ian." I debated whether I should say this or not, "And I will love our children with everything in me."

His eyes brightened in shock and happiness at the thought and he perked up beside me. The corners of his lips were tugging themselves into a smile as he looked at me.

"Are you serious? You want children?"

"Yes, of course I want children. Ian, I love you and I want more than anything to have a family, a true family, with you." With that he kissed me so passionately, everything that happened today melted away at his touch.

"Me too, Wanderer. I would love to have a family with you. But like I said we have time. Let's take this slow and see where it takes us."

"Ian, you never know how much time we have." I kissed him back with equal passion and wrapped my hands around his neck and in his hair.

Before I knew it my hands were travelling down his back and chest reaching down to the hem of his shirt. I hesitantly pulled it up slightly but despite what he had just said, Ian did not want to continue this slowly. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it away without caring where it landed. I have to admit, regardless of my past fears of this moment, I wanted this more than anything. And I was ready for it. I am ready for a family.

* * *

**Ooh la la! Ian and Wanda would have some pretty darn cute babies! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	7. Chapter 7

**_Well, I am so extremely sorry for the somewhat late reply (as usual) but I just started college and I was sick so I was kind of overwhelmed with homework and not feeling well. _**

**_THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS, FAVORITES AND FOLLOWERS! I'm so ecstatic that you enjoy this story as much as you all do. So thank you times infinity!_**

**_Anyway, this chapter was actually going to be a oneshot since it's all O'Wanda romance but I decided it would be a good little moment between them to have in this story. I hope you love it as much as I do!_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Host or any of the characters because they belong to Stephenie Meyer. I also do not own the lyrics to Make You Feel My Love originally by Bob Dylan. But it is a beautiful song so I wish I did._**

* * *

_I wonder where Ian is?_

This thought filled my mind as I walked into the fields where everyone was hard at work, where Ian was supposed to be, only to be greeted with the lack of Ian in the room. I surveyed the cave and studied every person making sure that I didn't just miss him in the bright room, but he was indeed gone. I walked slightly further into the open room heading towards the tunnel that leads to the game room.

_Maybe he is taking a break with a soccer ball._

That thought satisfied me enough to continue forward, walking down the twisted path until I reached the empty game room.

_Hmm…_

Since I was finished with my chores in the kitchen, I retraced my steps and made a beeline for our room. I was awfully tired since I did not sleep much after last night's _events._ I did not want to sleep after those beautiful moments with Ian. And he shared the same idea. We laid in bed the rest of the night, not talking, just listening to each other breathe and watching the faint stars through the cracks in the ceiling. I'm not sure when I fell asleep, but I woke up to Ian kissing me on the forehead as he went off to do his chores early in the morning.

Once I entered the tunnel that lead to our bedroom, I heard something that I had not experienced in such a long time. Something that I only recall from Melanie's memories as a beautiful, eloquent way of expressing feelings. I stopped as I racked my mind, trying to remember what Melanie called it way back when.

_Music._

I listened for a few more content seconds before I decided to find the source of the mesmerizing sound. I tiptoed through the hall not wanting the sound of my footsteps to echo off the walls and drown out the music. I stood by the door where the music was the loudest and breathed in the soothing hum. Quietly, I opened the door that separated the caves from the source of the peaceful sound.

_Ian._

Instead of my heart beating faster in my chest, as it usually did when I saw Ian, I felt a different sensation. It felt like my heart wasn't even beating anymore. Like it wasn't there at all. But the warmth that spread through my body told me it was still present somehow. _Melting._ My conscious provided that word and I was able to connect the feeling I had to a cliché that I had heard from Melanie.

My heart melted at the sight of Ian, sitting on the bed with his back to me, holding what I remembered him telling me was his guitar. He had never, in all the time I had been in the caves, picked up the guitar, only pointed to it as he mentioned that it was one of the only belongings he had left from his life before the invasion. I didn't know it made music as beautiful as what I was hearing right now.

"Wanda."

I was brought back from my trance to realize the music stopped and Ian was now facing me, guitar still in his lap, staring at me intently. When I met his eyes I couldn't help but smile as his face softened into the lop-sided smile I loved so dearly. My feet led me slowly over to Ian's side where he grabbed my hand and tugged me to sit down on the bed. He turned to face me, still smiling and holding my hand.

"Can I play you something?" He asked with an innocent hesitation

_Does he really believe I would refuse?_

I nodded my head in agreement, not trusting my voice in this tender moment. He brought his hand down across the strings and so many different sounds resonated at the same time, but they fit together in a beautiful way. His other hand switched positions on the slender part—the neck I remembered—of the guitar and, repeating the same motion, a different sound filled the room. I couldn't keep up with watching both hands at the same time but I didn't have to. Ian's voice interrupted the sound of the guitar in the most wonderful way that I snapped my eyes up to see him watching me.

_When the rain is blowing in your face_

_And the whole world is on your case_

_I can offer you a warm embrace_

_To make you feel my love_

My mouth opened to say something, hopefully intelligible, but Ian once again stopped that thought with his voice.

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_

_And there is no one there to dry your tears_

_I could hold you for a million years_

_To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

_But I will never do you wrong_

_I've known from the moment that we met_

_No doubt in my mind where you belong_

I sat listening to every syllable, every inflection in his voice that formed a breathtaking melody that I never knew he was capable of. If it is even possible, I lost myself even more to this song that Ian seemed to be breathing into me, _me, the Soul._ I could feel every different tone ripple through my veins, from my heart to the tips of my fingers.

_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue_

_I'd go crawling up the avenue_

_No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do_

_To make you feel my love_

_The storms are raging on the rolling sea_

_And on the highway of regret_

_The winds of change are blowing wild and free_

_You ain't seen nothing like me yet_

Ian had been watching me every moment throughout this song, every thought that passed through my mind he most likely read, but something about his eyes changed. For some unknown reason, I felt his need for me to hear these words, almost like he was begging me to listen closely to what he was about to sing. So I did.

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true_

_Nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Go to the ends of the earth for you_

_To make you feel my love_

He paused, the air was suddenly thick, and my heart stopped beating, my eyes never leaving his ice blue irises. In that moment, that perfect, intimate moment, our lips gently connected in the sweetest kiss we have ever shared. That kiss that relayed so many unfelt emotions, unspoken words that I never knew existed, was perfect. He leaned his forehead to mine, looking deep into my eyes, _to me_, and whispered softly:

_To make you feel my love._

* * *

**There you go! A sweet moment that I am just so happy about. I hope you loved it enough to review it and share with everyone you know because that would be sweet of all of you. Thank you so much for reading it!**


	8. Chapter 8

**So seeing as I have been focusing mainly on Wanda and Ian and Melanie and Jared have their own little story in here too, I just want to apologize for not taking time to update on their situation. I decided I would do this chapter in Melanie's POV because I wanted to talk about her side of all of this. This takes place almost a month after the last couple of chapters.**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Host or any of the characters in this story. All rights go to Stephenie Meyer.**

**On with the story, ENJOY!**

* * *

"Jared?" I softly knocked on the door before pushing my way through the makeshift doorway.

I slowly shuffled over to the bed where Jared was sleeping soundly and gently slid under the blanket. I pulled myself to his bare chest, content with spending the rest of my life in this position. His breath washed over the top of my head in a rush of warm air and I sighed in reply to the peaceful moment we were sharing, even if he wasn't awake.

The muscles in Jared's arm rippled as it draped over my waist which I assume is just sheer habit by now. But then I heard him groan slightly and tighten his hold on me. "Mel?" His voice was groggy and laced with sleep as he mumbled my name. "Mel?" He repeated my name but this time it was almost as if he was whining.

"I'm right here, Jared." I soothed as I rubbed my fingers in a circle on his back, "I'm right here."

Continuing to trace the circles on his back, I focused my attention on this small action and thought about our past, present and future together. I was snapped out of my trance when I realized Jared's breathing wasn't as deep as it was when he was sleeping. Hesitantly, I turned my head up and was faced directly with his golden sienna eyes.

"Good morning, Gorgeous." He smirked.

"It's 'good evening' actually." I stated matter-of-factly.

"Oh well isn't somebody just Miss. Proper?" I stifled back a giggle and managed to let out a light laugh, "What's up? What time is it?" He looked around the room confused, searching for a clock that wasn't there.

"It's dinner time."

"Oh, well let's go!" He threw the covers off of himself and jumped to find a shirt.

He turned back to me after tugging on a shirt and was confused as to why I was still lying under the blanket. I must have had 'sadness' written all over my face because his forehead instantly wrinkled in concern.

"What's wrong, babe?" He asked, rushing to the side of the bed and grabbing my hand.

I was not going to back down from this. I need to tell him. _Come on, Melanie, just say it._ "Jared, I need to talk to you about something."

"Anything, Mel, you know that."

The will to stay strong was trying to crumble and give way to the conflicting feeling of cowardice. At that moment I wanted to rewind and just go off to dinner with Jared, forget that I said anything, but my conscious keeps reminding me that he needs to know. Still, I buried my face into my pillow from frustration, and the fact that I didn't want to look at his worried eyes. His grip on my small but rough hands just increased in its strength making the tips of my fingers go numb.

"Melanie, please tell me what is going on. You're kind of starting to scare me. Is it Jamie? Is he okay?" Now there was pure panic and terror trembling through his throat at the idea that something happened to Jamie.

"Jamie is fine." I managed to choke out into the cotton pillow case.

"Then, it's Wanda. Nothing gets you this upset unless it's about Jamie or Wanda." _He knows me so well._ "Please, talk to me."

"Jared, this isn't about Jamie or Wanda. It's about me and you." I lifted my face from the suffocating protection of the pillow and somehow looked into his eyes once again.

"What about us? We've been doing great since you came back to me, Melanie, we are perfectly fine." He was trying to reassure me but the status of our relationship was not the issue at hand.

"It's not that either, Jared. We are, as a couple, perfectly fine." I breathed in the deepest breath and let out long, despairing sigh, "But as parents we are unprepared."

His face was stoic, stuck in the confused expression that had been present for the last couple of minutes. I could see my words travel into his head, go through processing in his mind and finally sink into reality. His square jaw was open slightly in shock and his eyes darted back and forth between mine, searching for something that wasn't there. _Lying? Does he think I'm lying to him?_

"Melanie, you do realize you just said 'as parents' right?" His voice did not betray his apparent emotions, he sounded just as bewildered at his eyes led on.

"Yes, Jared, I do realize what I said." I nodded solemnly and averted my gaze to his death grip on my hand, which was turning my fingers purple.

"So you—I mean you are—are you sure?" He stumbled over the words as if they were hurdles in his mind that he kept tripping over. Both of his hands were now trapping my face in a confrontation with his. His eyes were cutting deep into my skin, I could feel it.

"I'm pregnant. I'm about as positive as any cave-dwelling human can be." The determination entered my voice once again; allowing me to stay focused on the conversation and not get lost in Jared's beautiful eyes.

What he did next caught me completely off-guard and I did not expect this action at all. His jaw locked squarely, hands dropped from my face and he stiffly walked out of the room without another word. I was left sitting on the bed, leaning towards where he was just sitting, waiting to be pulled into his warm embrace. Instead, I crumpled to the side in astonishment as a shudder racked my body, the atmosphere was suddenly bitter and cold.

* * *

"Melanie?"

Wanda's soft voice tore through my silent, mourning session and I tuned into the real world to hear her small steps dart for my side of the bed. My head remained under the hot blanket and I continued to breathe in the muggy air from inside my shelter. But I didn't need to look at her to know what she was probably thinking.

I haven't left my room since dinner, when Jared left me alone, which was three hours ago. I'm honestly surprised it took Wanda this long to come figure out what was wrong with me. Nonetheless, she was here and I had some explaining to do.

"Wanda, I know you're still there." She had been quiet, believing I would think she left me alone, but I know her better than that. I know how her mind works. Pun intended.

"I am sorry, Melanie. I do not want to bother you, and if you would like to be alone I will leave." She paused, waiting for me to kick her out of my room. But I didn't. "I just want to know if you're okay. You've been in here for hours."

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say exactly. _I told Jared I was having his baby and he just left me here alone._ Yeah, that wouldn't go over well.

"Melanie?"

"I told Jared I was having his baby and he just left me here alone." _Oops._

There was a long moment of awkward silence but luckily I was still hiding in my fortress. I didn't even hear her breathing, she was breathing right? Reluctantly, I poked my head out still obscuring everything but my eyes from view. Wanda was sitting there, staring at the wall but I could see her breathing so crisis avoided.

"That's probably exactly what I looked like."

My weak attempt at breaking the tension failed but I think it's because Wanda wasn't listening to me. She was just staring at the cave wall thinking of God knows what. I followed her lead and watched the ceiling intently, memorizing every crack and ridge. Finally, she spoke.

"Melanie, when I find him I will kill him."

Immediately, her hand flew to her mouth as she gasped in astonishment at her own words. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my sealed lips. This was a serious moment, I wasn't supposed to be laughing but Wanda killing someone, seriously? Let alone thinking about killing someone? That was unheard of, for any Soul, whether they had gone native or not.

"Wanda, don't worry about it. He will come to his senses and realize he is being stupid. It's only a matter of giving him time and space to think about it." _Am I trying to convince her or myself?_

"But that isn't right. He should be here right now and you two should be rejoicing in the fact that you are bringing a life to this world." Her eyes glazed over with fantasy.

"Wanda, you don't understand. In any other situation he would be here right now doing that with me. But look at where we are." I gestured to the surrounding walls, "We live in a cave, in the middle of an apocalypse. This isn't exactly the world any of us want to bring a child into."

She was silent once again and I longed to know what she was thinking in that moment. Something was on her mind that she was not telling me, and that is completely unlike Wanda. But I let her be for this moment, I'll ask her about it later seeing as she obviously did not want to talk about it now. Leave it to Wanda to care about solving everyone else's problems before realizing her own.

"I'll go find him." She decided, nodding her head to herself. "I'll talk to him and bring him back."

"Just give him time, Wanda." She smiled an empty smile and left the room, but not without gripping my hand for a quick second and squeezing it reassuringly. But she wasn't just reassuring me about finding Jared, she was ensuring that she would always be there for me no matter what happens with this life growing inside of me.

* * *

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